How Do You Say ‘Taupe’?

Just how in the hell do you even pronounce ‘taupe’? Eyeshadow image taken from vchili’s Flickr photostream and used under Creative Commons License

It would be the form to begin this one with something like ‘my name’s Phoebe, and I’m a neutral eyeshadow addict’, but I actually think the hackneyed exploitation of the ritualised greeting used in an international mutual aid movement is a little crass. Bitch.

I am though. I buy brown and taupe eyeshadows all the time (they will often be marketed as ‘nudes’ or worse yet ‘flesh tones’ or ‘what do you mean, you’re not white? Fuck you’) and will no doubt buy many more before I’m done with this sorry existence. There’s one to suit everyone, and they’re a dead quick way of looking instantly polished and slightly sleepy sexy if you dab some on both the upper and lower lids (NB – what I think looks sleepy sexy might actually look a bit like Steve Buscemi, so bear that in mind). Pro tip! Say greyish-mauveish-brown at beauty counters so the counter girl has to say ‘taupe’ first. Animosity runs high between the ‘rhymes with rope’ and ‘rhymes with gawp’ factions and you don’t want to fall on the wrong side of the line or you could end up lying in chalk (chaulk?).

The good news for the compulsive eyeshadow buyer is that you can get some really incredibly good ones at real mini prices. The savings go up even further if you can’t resist a palette. Some small disclaimers: I will not mentioning anything from the Urban Decay Naked family because quite frankly I shouldn’t have to. If you want a shadow single, then MAC is always your best bet – however I have a rare condition which means that I panic and can’t choose MAC shadows properly because of how amazing the display looks and end up thinking I’d look fricking sweet in matt turquoise. I don’t.

Here are my best ones:

• Too Faced Natural At Night Eye Shadow Collection

A nice collection of shimmers and mattes which is supposed to give more of an evening-y neutral look, but you’re a grown-ass woman. Wear it whenever you like. Too Faced palettes have the best packaging too, if you’re into such things.

• Maybelline Expression Color Tattoo 24hr Eyeshadow in Endless Taupe

These babies were one of my favourite launches from last year. Either wear on its own or as a primer. It doesn’t budge. God knows how.

• Burberry Beauty Sheer Eye Shadow Taupe brown

Burberry eyeshadows are my absolute best ‘aw go orn you divil’ buys. Amazing buttery texture, gorgeous sheer finish. The lot. They are, however, not exactly cheap at £22.50 for a single, and you can’t eat them. Trust me on this one.

• Sleek i Divine Palette Au Naturel

Here we are in super bargain territory. You can get these in Superdrug and they’re really pretty good quality for the price. I also like the waffle finish of the individual pans, because it’s different and I’m not very bright.

• MUA Heaven and Earth Palette

When I bought this over the Summer it was four pounds. You can’t get anything for four pounds. The shades themselves are more on the shimmer side, but are really pretty subtle. My only criticism would be that the packaging is not particularly high quality (but why the hell would it be) and I’ve snapped the lid off mine, but that might just be my great clumsy bear hands.

I’ve heard that Steve Buscemi uses the Burberry ones. If that helps.